Thursday, July 28, 2016

once more

it’s been a little while over here. this will also be the last post on ismikendra or imagine or magnificent obsession or whatever other names this blog undertook that i forgot. you know, me and my indecisiveness and constant reaching for change. 

that’s what life has been, lately: change. a whole bucket load of it. honestly, my whole life feels like persistent change. i guess i could sulk about it — but it’s also a beautiful, wonderful thing to have the privilege of experiencing a lot of life in 19 years. i either feel like a scared three year old or i feel like i’ve lived so much, moved so much, met so many diverse people, that i should be 30. 

sometimes i feel like in this whole striving to be someone, or to make art, or to gain purpose that i sort of lost who i am. maybe it’s the fact that i have to think about business taxes or the over 6 thousand images i need to sort through that people are waiting to receive from me. i’ve spent a lot of time stressing over calls; a lot of late nights editing. i don’t want to let the joy of photography fall through my fingertips.

i think sometimes i forget to be free-spirited. maybe i got more of a bitter taste of the world and grew up a bit, but i don’t want to have the world hanging over my shoulders all the time. i’m constantly trying to take the weight of it on myself. i don’t know why i do that — why it’s always my fault; my job to fix everything. i know it’s not, but the temptation to believe so always hangs over me like a threatening thundercloud. 

maybe i’ve forgotten to trust or maybe i just need to trust the Lord some more. he has taken such good care of me; there is comfort found in his embrace and yet i still chase after the wind. i chase after my dreams, my plans, and forget to wildly and recklessly chase after him. i mean i GET to chase the creator of this broken but still beautiful earth. we’ve made a hell of a mess down here but he promises to make beauty from it. 

i guess that’s all i’ll post over here and i will try and not just post weddings over on my new blog. i promise. chicago pics are coming soon over there. 



(one last time — cause I’m known as kendra lynne everywhere else now) 


  1. I've been going through a lot too and I always been more on myself then I should. And I know so much what you mean about feeling three and then at the same time feeling as if you've lived for thirty years. It's something I don't share with anyone I know and it's good to know you have that feeling as well.
    I have missed your beautiful insights on life. ♥

  2. kids are great. and for those who have already grown there is a service writing a resume. which will help you in writing a resume. that will help to find a job. and good work will help you ensure your children in the future


thanks for sharing your thoughts -- comments make my day!