Tuesday, January 15, 2013
you just can't go back
Scenes flash through my mind. I remember pieces of the days I've nearly forgotten. I flip through the photos, worn and wrinkled. I look into my eyes. Is this little girl the same as the person I am now? I don't think so. So much has changed since then. But I think I know, deep inside, that I am the same person.
Funny thing is, when I was eight and going to school, running barefoot in the backyard, drinking lots of milk for breakfast and feeding worms to my little sister, I never really thought much. Things just weren't complicated. I didn't know everything but I was okay with that. I did mostly the same things every day. Life was simple. Even two years ago, everything was pretty simple.
It's strange how I never thought about those days being something to be treasured. I mean, growing up and being a real teenager and driving and doing your own thing must be sooo exciting. And now that I've almost reached that point, it's not that I'm not excited, it's not that I dread growing up. It's just that, as I look at these pictures, as I recounter memories, I realize something. I'm never going back. I'll never be that little ten year old with the wide eyes and short brown hair again. I'll never be able to go back to those days where I rushed through homework to go play outside until dinner, never be able to go back to the nights when if I got to stay up till nine it was a big deal.
Things change. Doesn't mean change is bad, in fact, it's usually mixed with bad and good. When change is hard, sometimes it's good for us, even when we don't see it. In the end, if we make it through, we become stronger and more beautiful people.