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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

real talk. some late night thoughts.

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I have a couple of pet peeves. Or things that make me burn with anger and clench my fists. Okay, maybe they're a little more serious than pet peeves. Whatever you call them.

One thing is when my siblings get into my things. They hide my sharpie pens, my good old music CDs always end up getting scratched, mess with my guitar tuners (seriously people, I have to tune my guitar every single time I play it), and I can't ever have gum, because somehow it disappears.

There's other things too. When people talk bad about others. When big people pick on little people. I think the thing that bothers me most though is when people are fake.

For some reason everyone does this. At least, most people I've known. You meet them and they're all smiles and laughter. They have a personality. The personality is a lot like everyone else's.

I'm learning that there's more to a person what what meets the eye. I used to think I was the only one who got annoyed with myself because I couldn't do something right. The only one who compared myself to others and thought I wasn't as good as them. The only one who sometimes thought I was ugly or fat. The only one who felt left out sometimes. The only one who cried herself to sleep on some nights.

Please don't think I'm saying it's ok that we go around beating ourselves up or crying all the time. I just think that people, especially younger ones, need to know that we're all human. We all fail. We all think we're stupid sometimes. I need to know this. We need to know this.  Knowing that I am a young woman with things in my life that are wrong. That are lies. Yet my Jesus is there to make me whole. To make me good. And that's the beauty of it.

I'm striving to be a person who is open about my struggles and fears. My worries and pains. I want to share them with others. Not so they'll judge me or feel sorry for me. So they know they're not alone. We can talk about these things together. We can have times where we laugh. But we can have times where we cry. We can have times where we're serious.

Then we can be stronger. We can't be authentic people who are raw and open about our lives if we don't acknowledge our struggles. Not living two lives and having two sides. Fake perfectness just makes me sick.

real humans, who can truly laugh and cry and share their hearts and dreams, those people are beautiful and radiant.


-- kendra

ps: it's really late and i should be in bed...



4 comments:

  1. my biggest pet peeve is when somebody comes into my room when the door is shut... then walks out WITHOUT SHUTTING THE DOOR.

    um, no, person. you better shut that door.

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with ya wholeheartedly...another one of kine is when people don't stick up for themselves and each other. If something you know is right is getting stomped on, defend it!!

    ReplyDelete

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