Friday, November 9, 2012


Sometimes I wonder why healing has to hurt so bad. Why God doesn't just send down a bit of power and make everything all perfect again. Why the pain of this world doesn't just stop. 

Why do children go hungry? Why people lose jobs? Why people die? Why does God not bring the lost to Him? How could He send them to hell, to punish in fire forever? 

That last question haunts me, though I've almost gotten over it. A few months ago I asked it so much I had almost convinced myself I didn't believe in God. Sure, I wasn't stupid enough to believe we had evolved from monkeys, but if there was a God who sent innocent people to hell, people who had never had the chance to hear of Him, I didn't want to worship Him. 

What I have to do is get out of my limited view as a human. I am not God. I am a woman. I do not see everything like God does. Yes, we are made in the likeness of God, but I am not God. 

Everything God does is for His glory. He has the right. He is good, He is just, He is all powerful and unchangeable. He has always been and always will be. We can't fully understand that. He made us for His glory, made us for His pleasure. He also made us so that He could love us. He wanted what was the best for us. Which was loving Him. Because if you don't love God, life is meaningless. 

We chose to sin. Every human God has made for  His glory has sinned. And He has the right to punish us. In fact, it is only fair, only right, only a good God would send us all to hell to be with the one side we have chosen, Satan's side. 

God is good. He is loving. But He is also just. He loved us sinful, dirty humans so much He sent His son, Jesus, to die for us. God has His children who He loves, those He's chosen. I'll tell you what's not fair - that we as Christians even have the chance to be in this relationship with God. We should be destined to hell forever. 

Then I'm back to the questions. After looking at things from God's perspective though, they're very different questions. 

Why on earth did God pick me to be one of His children? Why?! I am nothing. I don't deserve to be this close to God! I don't deserve to be the bride of Jesus! I promise you, though some people think (and even myself sometimes) I'm a pretty good person, I am not. I am prideful, I question God, I am so selfish every single day of my life. Almost everything I do is for myself. I am constantly fighting against that, constantly going against my fleshly desires. Believe me, without God, I wouldn't be where I am now. 

And so really, in the end, I cry tears of happiness, tears of joy. I want to please my Savior, I want to please my God. Because of what He's done for me, what He's done that I certainly don't deserve. 

But still, why, why, oh why would He chose selfish me? I don't think I'll ever understand.


  1. Another great post Kendra! I have a question for you though -- do you believe in "election", that only chosen people can be saved?

    1. I'm not really sure yet. I think I need to study a little more. Right now though I think that it's a little of both. People have to take the step to want God and realize they need Him, but God has to open their eyes. But, like I said, I'm not completely sure what my decision is yet. :) What about you?

    2. I don't think that there is any "choosing". Let's just say you do think that only "chosen" people can be saved. What do you do about verses like John 3:16 (For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.). He loved the WORLD. That's a lot of people in the world! doesn't say only chosen people in the world. Romans 3:23 says "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;" Again -- ALL have sinned. But then in Romans 6:23 it says "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." It doesn't say the gift of God is only for certain people! I don't think it even makes sense to say that there are chosen people. Why would Jesus die for the whole world, but then only certain people can accept that gift?

      I don't mean to be "preachy" or anything -- just my opinion. :D

    3. Amy, the whole discussion of election vs. freewill is a huge one. There's some good arguments on the freewill side, but the case is so much stronger for election...

      Jesus said that "no man can come unto me unless the Father draw him." And there's also John 6:45, "It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me."

      All who truly hear will come. But nobody can truly hear unless God opens their eyes and their ears. If God gives them understanding, then they will come. If He doesn't, they can't - I Corinthians 2:14 makes that clear.

      The price Jesus paid was sufficient to pay for the sins of the whole world - it was an infinite price. But that payment only pays for our sins if we accept the payment. And so I would say both that Christ died for the whole world, and that He died only for the elect.

      It does sound hopelessly confusing, but then, if we could understand everything about God, He wouldn't really be God, would He? :)

    4. KGG, I don't mean to argue, but your statement, " I would say both that Christ died for the whole world, and that He died only for the elect." contradicts itself! How can you believe both? I see what you mean about God giving people understanding, but if someone has heard the truth and wants the truth, they'll understand it. God won't deny someone who is searching just because that person isn't "one of the elect". Do you honestly think though that God would send his son to die for the whole world, (and he says whole world in John 3:16) but then say, "only certain people can accept this gift?). What happened to the whole world?

      One more question -- do you honestly think that everyone who isn't "elect" is just doomed without hope to perish in Hell? I do think it's interesting that no one who ever believes in election thinks that they aren't one of the elect....

      All this being said, I do realize that no one here is going to change anyone's mind, so I don't want to just debate back and forth. I just meant to ask Kendra what she thought, not to cause a a stir... Sorry Kendra!

    5. No, it doesn't contradict itself, I just didn't tie it clearly to the explanation. :) I believe there is a sense in which Christ did die for the whole world, in that the price that He paid was sufficient. And yet there is also a sense in which He died only for the elect - His payment is only accepted for those who accept Him. His death does not pay for the sins of those who reject what He did. Does that make more sense?

      God won't deny someone who is searching. But I don't believe that anyone will search for God unless He draws them. He only draws the elect. Why doesn't He draw all? I don't know. But He doesn't owe anybody anything. Just because He chooses to extend mercy to some does not obligate Him to show that same mercy to all - if it were only justice for Him to do so, then it would no longer be mercy. And yes, if someone hears and wants the truth, then they'll understand it, but nobody will want it unless the Spirit works in their heart. And if He does work, then they *will* hear, and search, and understand.

      Yes, I do believe that those who are not elect are doomed to suffer the just punishment for their sin. But there is no injustice with God. They merit that punishment. As do we. My question is not "why do some perish", but rather, as Kendra said in her post, "why me? Why did God choose me? Why did He show mercy to me? Why did He not simply let me get what I deserve?"

      But I don't want to turn Kendra's comment section into a theological debate either. :)

  2. Actually, I'm glad we're talking through this. I've never had a theological debate on my blog before! :)

    I have to agree with KGG, Amy. I really do respect your beliefs though.

    And let's all remember - we might disagree on some subjects, but what matters is the gospel. If debating isn't benefitting anyone, then it's best not to debate. (not that I'm saying what you all did was wrong. I think it's good to talk about our beliefs to some extent! I just know that from experience it can get out of hand.)

  3. Well, if Kendra doesn't mind... :D

    Seriously, Amy, if you want to and Kendra is happy to let us, I would love to talk about it further. :)

    By the way, Kendra, I don't know if you remember me, but this is Kathleen from Scotland... I'm not a total weirdo who just decided to show up and argue Calvinism on your blog! :p

    By the way, this series on Calvinism is really good, if you're wanting to learn more about the whole election/predestination/free will discussion. http://www.ligonier.org/learn/series/chosen_by_god/

  4. I agree Kendra, that we might disagree on some subjects.

    All biblical reasons aside though, I don't see why anyone would even choose to believe Calvinism! Why would you want to believe that some people are doomed forever, when the bible says over and over "All man", or "any man" when speaking about Salvation. Doesn't that leave you with a slight doubt all your life about if you are really saved? What if you just convinced yourself that you are one of the elect?

    Since Kathleen gave you a link, I don't feel bad doing the same. :D My mom wrote a really great artlicle on this a while back: http://6diamondsintherough.blogspot.com/2011/06/biblical-election.html

    Sometimes I think you have to agree to disagree, and this might be one of those times. :)

  5. Hey girls! And hi again, Kathleen. ;) Sorry it's taken me so long to get back. I've been busy, and I almost forgot about this conversation! :) Thanks both of you for the articles. I'm not saying God sends people to hell. He KNOWS who is going to hell, but that doesn't mean he's sending them there. We send ourselves to hell, it's only fair that we should go because of what we've done. We have to be open to the truth before God changes us. He has to open our eyes to see the truth. So I guess I lean in the middle.


thanks for sharing your thoughts -- comments make my day!