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Saturday, October 6, 2012

back.

Sometimes memories flash through my mind. Quickly, suddenly they leave. They are forgotten memories. Ones I rarely share with others, ones I keep mostly inside. 

I see their faces. The dirty-faced children at the orphanage, the women's eyes peering from behind their headscarves. The blind man who would beg at the market. The time when soldiers marched past our house. When children would be on the street, homeless, sniffing drugs. 

My heart aches now. I want to go back, I want to give them food, give them clothing, give them a home. Most of all I want to give them love. I want to give them Christ. 

They don't have the ability to learn about real Jesus. They can't. 

And sometimes, I feel sick. I see what we have. How much money we spend on worthless things. How much time we spend on things that simply don't matter. 

The dollar I spent on that song could've been used to buy a child's meal. The time I wasted this afternoon could've been spent doing far more better things. 

All this sounds cliche. But it's real. I've seen. I know. I want to go back. And it's hard, because right now, I can't go back. It's especially hard to be a light here. Yet as Christians, we're all called to show love. 

I don't want to sound stuck up or prideful. Because it isn't me who is so passionate or good. It's God. But I want to go back. Even if it hurts to say goodbye all over again to family and friends. Even if it hurst to leave comfort. I want to bring Jesus to these people. 

7 comments:

  1. Hey Kendra! I love this blog post! And I love how much you love those people- one day you will be the noblest of missionaries. Praying for you!

    In Christ,
    Heidi

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  2. you do that kendra, go girl!
    love this post...i can so feel your love for christ and desire to share Him with all the lost...

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  3. It's awesome to read about how much you care about these people in need. I'm sure one day you'll have the chance to go back spread God's love! Beautiful post Kendra! :)

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  4. Awwww Kendra, you're such a sweetheart!! I love your heart and passion for Jesus, and for sharing the Good News about Him. I admire that and look up to you for that!! :) This post made me think of all the times I wasted doing stupid things, and it definitely made me wanna change some things. Thanks! :)

    I love ya,
    Manda
    http://meandjesus-amanda.blogspot.com

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  5. I know exactly how you feel. Word for Word. I've tried explaining this before, but either people read me wrong or my words come out wrong.

    I was thinking of this the other night - and I was so frustrated about how much we waste on things that don't really matter. And realizing how much I wasted - not specifically money, but my actions. A friend of mine told me that our relationship with Jesus was kinda like marriage (a duh moment for me). Jesus gave us all of Himself (the good stuff) and we gave Him all of our bad stuff. And ourselves. That means my hands. My thoughts. My time. My words. My mouth. My feet. They all function. They all work. My eyes work and see ways to serve. My hands are capable of caring. My heart is capable of loving. And yet, I "waste" it too.

    Rambling again.

    Great post!

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  6. This is awesome, Kendra. Like Bethany, I feel the same way. I don't know how to explain it, but at times I'm brought to tears by the fact that people don't use the means we've been given to fight things like abortion, suicide, Bible poverty, starvation, and just caring for the less fortunate! Loving our neighbor as ourselves!

    Anyway, I'd better stop, or I'll get really emotional and keep going on, and on, and on, and on. :3

    God bless,
    Lauren

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thanks for sharing your thoughts -- comments make my day!